transitions.

Monday, October 20, 2008

its really pleasant to see that people still tag and read my blog. im kinda surprised yet happy.

i was looking through facebook just now, and yeah also in context with what mr.dre said in the tagboard about seeing your ex taking pictures and that you want to stab yourself with a kitchen knife and also in context with someone's situation that i shall not disclose who.

so there was this girl and guy, who were together for quite a long time. probably for 3 years, and the guy broke up with the girl and the guy went back to indonesia. hes rich good looking, so anyway he got a girlfriend pretty sooon. and the AMAZING thing is the moment the guy got together with the girl, within a month the exgirlfriend also came up with a boyfriend. WAO. i wonder if its actually love, if its actually it just involve spiting each other. i wonder if thats really fun or maybe its just coincidental that things are that way. but yeah lately i think people have just gone out of control.

BUT it just make perfect sense. if 2 person were to break up, the person who gets a partner first will always have the upperhand. its like break up, ( level 1 of killing someone ) then get a partner ( level 2 of killing people ), stay happy and not guilty ( level 3 of killing someone ). but when you reach level 3, you will probably 99% force the other person to move on, and i do think its a good thing. but when you reach level 3, there will probably be no more friendship between you and your ex. relationships are really troublesome huh, but in the end everything is based on a case by case basis. someone will even commit suicide at level 2. HAHAHAHA

okay this is just plain too crappy, i dont know what im talking about seriously!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

one month after graduation, another month of OPT used. and i wonder how many months must i be like this, for how long more will i must endure this kinda days.

sometimes i start to ponder what my friend said, what is the meaning of life being in the US like this. can't eat properly. can't sleep properly. can't shop and so many things that you can't do. work to pay for expenses. im really envious of so many people that are around me, so jealous. somewhat i feel like everything is hanging by a thread. its like if i don't handle is properly i will just screw it up. thats the feeling i get. i wake up, waiting for phone calls, but there isnt any. no interviews, nobody says they want to hire me. no phone calls from people i want to hear from, no messages that i want to read. in short, lack of joy.

i wonder and wondered.

ponder and pondered.

what if resolution doesnt work out.

or what if things that i planned doesnt become the way it will be.

im changing my life, taking a really big leap now. i know its beneficial, but its benefits doesn't imply that things will change for the better for the future, or rather how things i want it to be later on in life. man.

how can work be fun? unlesss its the things you want to do. yeah unless some hot chick asked for my number in tajima, that will really really be fun. BUT it will never happen. im already glad that no drunkard try to make a foool and a mess there, chicks? HAHA. yeah. jobs like this are stupid, it doesnt require any brains. however, its jobs like this that teaches you the meaning of money, its importance.

Monday, October 13, 2008

sometimes i think i reached a new level of boredom+ ness.

now that i think, sometimes even when you want to blog, you gotta have something to write. worst part is, you cant just simply put how you feel on your blog, or rather you know criticism about people. well i used to write all over my blog, but these days im cutting it down so no one will find out about my blog.

don't you think its stupid?

you want your blog for people to read, but at the same time you don't want them to know whats going on. but if you get a private blog, then no one will read your blog, thus defeating a purpose of a blog. WHATS the point man seriously.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

sometimes im just thinking if im dumb.

2nd thing im thinking, is maybe i should really learn to control my mouth. SD really taught me how to talk shit till the extend its hard to control.

3rd thing im thinking about, is that maybe nothing last forever. maybe really nothing last forever, even love and friendship.

oh well.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

i'm in LA right now with 2 of my best buddies sleeping. well not with me, they are just sleeping. its 4.30 am.

too bored and maybe i just have things to say. i think you become who you mixed with, like you adapt to the surrounding and you will become part of the surrounding. SD definitely made me more stupid, cause my surrounding are filled with dumb kids, dumb but fun and funny people. not that i regret that i became dumb, its also partly my fault for becoming stupid. L.A people are crappy too, but they are nice. lol seeing them having fun and acting dumb, seriously makes me envious. maybe a life that i would want to have, but i know its not possible right now.

i'm independent now, well. not that its something to be proud of, but i do think its a good start. well, i call it preparation for the future. hahahaha whatever it is.

how i wished i can be in L.A forever at times, being able to see things that i want to see. or rather being able to see people who i want to see, that makes me happy but yet unhappy at times. i guess everything is a give and take situation? tomorrow we are going to drink, but im kinda worrried about the expenses gonna incurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr AAWWWWWWWWH. okay i shall not try to think about it. oh well.

i don't know why mr bruin has jay chou songs in his comp, often those songs reminded me of my break up days. upsetting, but yeah definitely nostalgic. thinking about gs300 and his girlfriend already went back to indonesia. i wonder if thats the path that i will end up taking too. or will i end up like my senior, kambing, getting married in the US and have a really really stable job. i seriously wonder.

i'm 20, but there are so many things i want to do. so many things i want to try, but so many opportunities are lost. i wonder what will happen if my friends were to go back to indonesia. it would pretty screwed up isn't it?